The Bachelor restored my faith in humanity...no really!

I have made no secret that from the second I saw Ali twinkle her eyes in the light reflecting off Tim's shiny hair that somehow, despite my known hatred of all things reality TV, I got hopelessly addicted to The Bachelor Australia. Initially it was more of an anthropological study for me, as I stared curiously at the motionless brows, false eyelashes with breasts to match and unnaturally thin noses, that I don't normally encounter IRL (I'm not in event planning on the Gold Coast obviously... ok so this one fashion blogger I know who doesn't do event planning on the Gold Coast seems to have a very still face, but everyone else has nerves that still work and sad limpy breasts). 

As Rosie Waterland discovered Ali is Bambi!

But I digress, anthropological really is my way of saying I couldn't look away from the car crash, I was dying to see what intellectually stimulating conversations people could make through very large lips and fluorescent white teeth while teetering on 10 inch stillettos. Obviously I am jealous as have never managed any of these things, except the stimulating conversation bit...ask my work colleagues, that happens every day. 

Don't be fooled by the fact this is a still image, trust me nothing moved...ever.

Oh man I digress again, my point in all this is that watching The Bachelor and then reading Rosie Waterland's recap of it every week made me laugh harder than I had in a long while ( I have irish twins...now it all becomes clear). There were some nights I had to put my hand up as the fakeness mixed superbly with obvious intellectual handicap was too much to bear, but tonight even as I read my very cynical twitterfeed (girls where is your heart?!) I was relieved, so relieved that it actually restored some of my faith in the human race....why because the only really intelligent and genuine girl on the show got picked!!! This never happens, the fake moron or the bitchy manipulatress always wins. The natural, confident and successful girl with a funny chin misses out.....right? Especially when the bachelor's brain has been fried by a weird mix of beach-staring induced endorphins and human growth hormones. That walking bicep was so going down the Rochelle or Dani path in my version of "what's wrong with the world?". 

Dani breaks into a sweat trying to move her forehead

But no, I underestimated Timmy, maybe steroid abuse has been good for him, maybe travelling by helicopter and/or boat for 13 weeks somehow delivers some sort of intelligence via osmosis, or maybe his Mum clued him in. Poor old Rochelle's high-pitched facade was not getting past an usually very active brow that gave away Tim's Mum's "I'm a psychologist babe, and you're hiding something!" distrustful frown. I knew it was in the bag for Anna, by the polar opposite facial expressions of Timmy's Mum - replay it back, check it out, she loves her and knows she's for real - Oh f*#k it! I'm just gonna say it "I love her too!" #tragic

You can't tell Rochelle's not really comfy being real from this photo...much...not that Tim's hair can talk!

I'm going to try to restore my cynicism, but my tears when Timmy choked up telling Anna she had his whole heart, were real, and yep she and Osher's attempts at being stiff and serious, have made me believe in fairytales again. Thank goodness my knight in shining armour has already arrived or god knows what I'd now end up with. Off to buy some growth hormones for the hubby after I google whether botox actually is dangerous. And you can be sure you will not see a twinge on this face until Ali turns up as the Bachelorette! 

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Wrong...in all the right ways

I know I am late to this party but by accident (1 minute in a car park before work) I actually listened to the words of Pink's song "Raise your glass" and I fell in love with it and her. 

And then for some unknown reason a colleague at work sent me to this blog post about embracing your weird self (I think I might be weirder than I first thought). Then that classic scene in The Family Stone popped into my head, you know the one where Meredith (Sarah Jessica-Parker) is told by, if-only-this-guy-existed-in-real-life, Ben (Luke Wilson) that she has a freak flag that she just doesn't fly. And I realised there is something quite beautiful (in the loosest sense of the word) about being your real imperfect, nitty gritty, human self. 

We seemingly are all trying to be something that we think is the cool, "right" thing to be, appearing all detached "man", "holler". Well sod that - I get my knickers in a twist all the time and it's because I do care and I do want things to be different and I'm not going to just hang back to appear cooler than I am.

So newsflash - I have a geeky freak flag too (Wow at last Sarah Jessica Parker and I have something in common). Socially I think that over-sharing is hilarious and that political incorrectness is fun. I hate cyclists and often think they ride like they actually want to be run over by a car (I used to ride and I was respectful that cars can take off faster than bikes from a set of lights...helloooo!) I sometimes use the word 'spaz', mostly to describe myself but I know this offends some people seemingly my hubby the most (he's such a spaz!) 

I also forget to ask everyone who's asked me how their weekend was because quite frankly I can't remember my own let alone have the brain power to absorb what happened to some one else. I'm not intentionally or selfishly not interested, it's just my diskspace is full, sorry! I have an obsession with perfect typography, copywriting and layout that drives my team and our agencies crazy. I have an unsettling memory for the perfect word order of a conversation and don't accept answers that contradict the "vibe" of a situation. I like excel and picmonkey in equal measure. 

In short I am like this swearing, curiosity junkie who won't stop until I know the "real" story and have created the "scientifically" perfect layout (I would have said article but that would be insulting given the shoddy word selection of this here post that you are struggling to follow). 

It is weird, annoying and quite tiring. Mainly because I have been left of centre and "wrong" for as long as I can remember and there is no better time to say "you know what - that's what makes me me". And this freak is starting to fly her obtuse flag - look out "perfect" people you're about to cringe!

As Pink so articulately puts it "Raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways..."

Cheers to what makes you perfectly imperfect! 

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Baby vs Career? Really?

This is a thought that occurs to me pretty much every day. Stay at home Mum, working Mum, stay at home Mum, working Mum. Which is best for my two gorgeous mini-people? 

Me on maternity leave...not sure why my hubby just spat out his coffee...

It is a massive conundrum that I have not ever been able to solve in my mind even after a couple of guilt-ridden posts on Mamamia when I first returned to work, both with about 500 "helpful" comments from other women. So when Gumtree did this infographic (below), about it I thought it time to revisit this modern day non-decision. 

I don't think I will ever be entirely comfortable with my full-time work choice, but I can say my two boys seem happy, well-adjusted and I dare say they are in no doubt of how much I adore them.  

I have come to believe that wholly defining your life by your children is quite unhealthy for all involved, especially the kids. So I am glad to have something else. Of course it doesn't need to be work that fills that gap, I think the trick is ensuring it is not solely your children, that's too much of a burden for them to carry.  

For me it is work and I do love my job, the challenge and the personal development that is required to work successfully with others even makes me a better Mum. Some call it selfish but knowing what looking after yourself mentally and physically, individually means for you is a responsibility that must be taken seriously to actually be a good parent. So whatever that is for you, and it is different for everyone, you owe it to your children to make sure you do look after yourself. 

So stay at home or go to work, the choice is only one each individual Mum can make and whatever that choice is, as long as your children are loved well and they know it, I think you are making the right decision. 

Gumtree infographic baby versus career is an infographic that was produced by Gumtree

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Mark Brandon "Chopper" Read - Witty, intelligent and previously very dangerous

Mark "Chopper" Reed 

1954 - 2013

Take away the violence, that thank goodness in later life he did, and you had a larger than life Aussie character who knew he'd lost so much through crime saying only recently "get out of it, get out of it now while you still got a dream". 

I don't know how much of Chopper was accurately depicted in the movie based on him, but I never fail to laugh at this one line and the way Eric Bana repeatedly says "neville effing bartos" in later scenes. Maybe it's my warped aussie sense of humour, honed through years of quick wit (if by wit you mean insults directed mainly at my try-hard-posh grandmother) from my own fairly gritty great uncle Neville. 

Whatever it is, the "no cash" scene is a classic... 

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Inside their head...perception is reality.

My husband wooed me with the phrase "Perception is reality", that is if by "wooed" you mean really pissed me off. When we met I was surprisingly very wide-eyed and I believed there was an absolute reality outside of the skewed perception of each human being...and I was creating advertising for a job, go figure! 

I was very idealistically attached to this purist belief mainly because it was the only explanation for why most people didn't understand a word I said...they didn't see the REAL reality obviously. 

Luckily I'm a fast learner and it only took ten years to eventually concede and admit hubby was right (damn it!). The argument he formed back then was that it wouldn't matter if there was a REAL reality and absolute truth because it would never be seen. "But" I argued passionately "that's no excuse for not trying to find it!". 

In truth the only absolute is that one scene will unfold in front of a group of people and they will each take a different thing away from it. We see the world through our filter, that is uniquely ours, built through our individual experiences and knowledge. There is only one way for us to digest the space we move in and that specific view of the world is as unique as our fingerprint. Who knew I was going to not only get a nice guy but end up ranting about relativist existentialism as a result... thanks darling, a bunch of flowers would have been nicer. 

The power of perception... Image: Thequotefactory

Anyway as I struggle through being a parent and a leader more and more I realise there is only perception and that we judge others and even ourselves on the slither of behaviour we see and think nothing of the ocean of intention or potential we don't. 

I still think there is truth out there, but now I know that it is in the eyes of humanity rather than distinct from us all. And I dream of passing on the strength of belief and perception to my wide-eyed little people, quietly mapping my every move on to the glass through which they will see the world and in turn that will define their fate... oh shit!

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Carrie Bradshaw EYHO!

The last person I ever imagined as overly-inspiring was Candace Bushnell, author of Sex and the City. So when I saw that she was speaking at a Business Chicks event I was a little perplexed given the types that we normally see (think Richard Branson, Brene Brown, Bob Geldof). Nonetheless I was looking forward to it, I had been, like most of my age group, obsessed with SATC and I was insanely curious to hear what this nympho, party girl with a shoe fetish would say in real life. 

So I came prepared, I did what every "informed" person does, I read about her on Wikipedia. As I skimmed through the article learning about the real Mr Big and her whirlwind marriage (and subsequent divorce) to a principle ballet dancer ten years her junior, my suspicions about what to expect from the event the next day were being confirmed. I started to brace myself for some squirming and hoped the food would get me through what I thought would be quite a vacuous and superficial experience. I continued reading and a small jagged fact tore slightly at my preconceptions. At one point Bushnell, a then struggling writer, had been so impoverished that she had to sleep on a piece of foam some friends gave her as she couldn't afford a bed. "Hmmm that doesn't fit" I thought, maybe there's something more than an unhealthy knowledge of Manolo Blahniks here.

Upon arriving the next day, in my most outlandish coat (had to pay some sort of homage and I can't stand Jimmy Choos), I was greeted by a Cosmopolitan, a designer goodie bag, and a slim, tanned blonde in a shimmering pink strapless mini. My worst fears were materialising, as I smiled on the outside and took advantage of Candace's offer to sign my complimentary copy of Sex and the city. The Cosmo and the shirtless man who was happy to hug me for a photo was making this all at least fun, so I relaxed and lowered my expectations as we made our way in to the ballroom packed with 1000 seemingly giggling women. 

The shirtless man appeared again to escort Ms. Bushnell to the stage and it was only a few short moments later that I realised how wrong I had been. Candace's warmth, sense of humour and gorgeous sense of self shone through and obliterated all my misconceptions. I sat ashamed as her strength and knowledge about how women and the world work made me look like an imbecile. 

I loved how she articulated the mistake so many of us make, that is we look for love to validate us, to make us feel important and special, to fill the "gaps". Conversely the best relationships are those where you don't NEED the other person for that. Giving love is what makes a relationship work and you can't really do that when you are incomplete. In the end she told us she eventually worked out she didn't want Mr Big, she wanted to be Mr Big herself. 

And my glimmer of hope from last night turned into a shining floodlight when she talked about sticking at writing, despite being so poor she sometimes went to parties just to eat. "Most of us have an epiphany about our lives but we try to ignore it, or just dismiss it. I didn't, I knew I had to write or I would die and so I kept writing". 

And her humour about men and their ugly "hoohoos": "oh my god, what are you showing me that for, you've ruined everything, put it away!". That and "the rabbit" which still surprises her, had the room in stitches. Not to mention the real Miranda's late phone call to her once: "you have to come here now and have sex in this rich guy's cedar closet!" 

And her wisdom... Wow. The genuine support she has for other women is palpable. You can really see that the way the four characters in SATC look out for each other is a life lesson from her. She talked of girlfriends that have kept her going at her lowest points with the simple phrase "you're fabulous". And her wisest friend who's advice she left us with says "Never stop doing you. Being you is the reason you are where you are, so keep doing your thing like only you can do it." 

Gorgeous, funny, sensitive, highly successful, wise and sharp as a tack... She has it all...no wonder she's single! So Candace Bushnell, I apologise, I expected Carrie, and despite Natasha Belling calling you that once during proceedings today, we got SO much more... and some. 

And I hope the misjudgements of this world do nothing but drive your beautiful success even further. You deserve every bit of it!

Thank you, Mwaaahh! Mwaaah!
(Had to be a double kiss, I know... Don't worry it's only for special occasions)

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Is WALL-E one of the greatest movies ever made?

Creativity is this strange strange entity. I can't work out why it exists. It used to be evidence that God existed; he created us so we naturally created too. But then I started doubting the whole religion thing and my own need to capture beauty and pin it down remains unexplained. But one thing is true, when creativity is allowed to find its true potential, all are left inspired. 

In our time one of the most beautiful and inspiring works of art is the motion picture. Some may say it is a lazy person's novel but I believe it is a platform for every kind of artist. It is where visual artists cross over with musicians, actors and writers amongst so many others, all to do one thing well - tell a story. I have worshipped this art form for many years and have listed my favourite funny movies and even dedicated whole posts to some of my faves. But today's list is a must see of serious yet unmissable works. Welcome to my gallery of creative genius. 

• WALL-E
• American Beauty
• The Descendents
• The Piano
• Cinema Paradiso
• Léon
• The Unforgiven
• Amelie
• Million Dollar Baby
• The Green Mile
• Up
• Blade Runner
• The Shawshank Redemption
• Good Will Hunting
• A Beautiful Mind
• The Sixth Sense
• The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
• Kung-fu Panda
• The Matrix
• Life is Beautiful

WALL-E is I think one of my top five and only became so late last year, thanks to having toddlers that began to devour movies for breakfast. It is pure genius how the juxtaposition between robots and human emotion are seamlessly brought together. It's not every day a cautionary tale for humankind disguises itself in an exquisite robot love story, but Wall-e achieves both and more. WALL-E will have you entranced much in the same way he is entranced with the super-slick EVA from the first time she shoots at him with her high-powered laser arm. His quirks, imperfections, and huge heart will capture yours as much as his apple start up sound will have you smirking. This level of creativity astounds me and almost makes me believe again that there is something more to us than simply ending as dust. 

Never stop creating.

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