3 Reasons NOT to have children? ~ My IdeaLife

Sunday 8 April 2012

3 Reasons NOT to have children?

Suburban residents look on as a gypsy family move on to their nature strip!
Last night I was videoing singing and dancing blue rabbits (as you do) without a care in the world, today I am sitting on the side of a road somewhere between home and the central coast wiping spew off a distraught toddler.

I'm not sure whether this was in the part of the hand book I chose not to read or maybe we are just "special" but "what the f*^k!!!!!!!!"

Look I don't want to put anyone off having kids and I can't actually imagine my life without my two inexplicably beautiful boys but I really do now understand why some people choose not to have children. I mean really all they are saying is "I like the idea of not being spewed, shat or pissed on".

As I continue another two hours in a car that smells so putrid I'm thinking of adding some of my own bile to the floor mats, I try and laugh. Life is absurd at the best of times but just when you think you've seen it all you glance at a toddler weeing next to a footpath, a husband working his way through a packet of wipes on a car seat, a smelly but surprisingly chipper creature cooing in your lap and a concerned old sticky peak one eye on us the other on the phone book as she looks up the number for DOCS!

The old lady and her beady eyes did it - she made me laugh. Now I just hope I can stop before it turns into blubbering hysteria that signals a need for a stay in a white room that happens to have padded walls... Mmmmnn comfy.


  1. Spew in the car is the worst. But then again, I remember spewing down the side of my ex-boyfriend's car as he was driving me home after one drunken night. He later told me he had to pull into a servo at 3am to wash it off.

    Maybe Karma is teaching me a lesson ;-)

    It's gets better right? RIGHT?!

    Love & stuff
    Mrs M

  2. Good point. Maybe it's just the cycle of life when you are in your twenties you spew on yourself, in your thirties you have learnt enough to spew on others and when you are in your 40s someone spews on you! Seems only fair. Obviously the bright side of the 50s better be that no spew features. Nic xxx

  3. Oh my lordy! What a day you've had!

    If it makes you feel better... Picture a Mum with a newborn and a toddler on a coach... Mum holding newborn... Toddler starts projectile vomiting... only ten minutes into the 4 hour trip. Yep that was me. Ahhh those were the days.

    All you can do is laugh hun xxxx

  4. Oh Miss Cinders - that is hardcore! Makes my story seem like a walk in the park - did you blog about it? Love to read the long version, if only to make me feel less alone! Thanks for sharing and glad those days are over for you! Nxxx


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