Little arms, BIG hugs.

Someone asked me today to close my eyes and imagine a place where there is love. Of course I'm sure like most people my mind flashed my hubby's face up, but I settled on the best feeling in the world...that of small arms that can't quite reach around you yet, but still surprise you with their loving strength. 

My two boys are now nearly 3 and 4 and so their little arms do reach around my neck, they can pack a punch which often lands in my stomach, they can dive on me rock and roll wrestling style with no concept that 19kg in flight causes quite a lot of pain. But when those little arms lock around my ribs and squeeze while they bury their head in my chest I just melt. 

Gone are the menacing memories of the spilt smoothie, the punch up over a ninja turtle, the refusal to eat, bathe, get dressed, go to sleep, say yes. And if they add a "whove you Marm" they could have spewed, pooed and drawn on the walls all day, and I'd still be a mess of "my gorgeous little man, I love you too". 

I never imagined finding this kind of love, I never could have pictured the experience of stroking a luminescent forehead in a way that sends it's owner to sleep, or meeting these little people that are just crashing into life with insatiable curiosity, raw emotions and ever-stretching limbs. I never imagined being asked to "sing me 'close to you' Mum" or "look at my p00!" or to be told "my wil1y goes up like magic, it's really big.... hehehee". But these are the things that have made my life. These are the things that come to mind when someone asks me about love...and I am loving every sleep-deprived, deranged and chaotic minute. 

The most comfortable sofa is seemingly me!

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SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE: RIP Drummer Lee Rigby 1987 - 2013

We won't forget

We won't rest

until Humanity is restored

until life, your life, is valued, cherished

And your son will know 

you changed the world for the better

One day...one day

But today strangers weep at how senselessly your life was stolen

and hearts break at your future now unwritten.

Today we will cry and cry and cry... this can't be

Something has to change...

All strength and love to Lee Rigby's wife Rebecca, son Jack, family and friends. 

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Happiness is love. fullstop

I just read about the longest-running longitudinal study into human development. The Harvard Grant Study started in 1938 and followed 268 Harvard graduates for 68 years. And it is one of those crazy moments where you watch someone else's life flash before you, but more than crazy it is absolute gold. It is like finding proof of God, when with that amount of data is collected, over that period of time, the findings prove that if the men had a warm relationship with their mother and a happy marriage, their lives were not only happier and healthier but also more financially successfully. It basically shoots "the nature vs nurture" argument squarely in the head too. 

Wow! just wow! 

Wow because I am a Mum to two toddler boys, wow because I know a man that didn't get on with his Mum and wow, I suddenly feel really terrified. 

I know this is all a good thing, because I am determined to love my boys and maintain a warm relationship with them, but life doesn't always work that way and people sometimes get it wrong. 

The good news for Mums struggling with their relationships with their sons is this though, the study also found that happiness can be found later in life, by things like finding the right spouse, a health scare or finding a new community, like three examples from the study did. 

Christopher Croke wrote in The Australian, "The journeys of the Grant Study men show that most people's lives are more authentically stories of growth and change than they are tales of demographic or genetic destiny."

Scott Stossel wrote in The Atlantic, "Vaillant’s key takeaway, in his own words: “The seventy-five years and twenty million dollars expended on the Grant Study points … to a straightforward five-word conclusion: ‘Happiness is love. Full stop.’ ”

It seems apt to end hAPpyRIL with that final note. Loving others is the most powerful and fulfilling thing we can do in this life. 

Love your family, love your friends, love the humans you've never met, 

but most of all LOVE your children. 

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5 peculiar habits of happy people

Shawn Achor said there were five things you had to do to every day for 21 days to change the way you view the world. Well I'm stealing two of his and adding three that have been verified in countless studies I'm sure, unfortunately though they are studies no one has ever read nor heard of. In any case I'm convinced they are little things that will improve your life and at the very least will be good to wheel out at dinner parties! 

Chores

This is definitely the weirdest on my list, but from one that has avoided a lot of chores in my time, when I get in and just do them I know it is a path to happiness. I think it is not the chores themselves but what they represent - i.e. a barrier, a blockage, a weight, a burden. My husband is an expert at relieving himself of this particular kind of unhappiness, by just getting in and doing it. Now to complete his happiness, he needs to get me to do the same! Trying dear promise, I've got to the first state of chore happiness, I've written the list (I'll give it to you later...as proof I mean, not because I know you'll get to them before me...seriously). 

Pilates

This is not that strange and any doctor will tell you exercise of any kind releases endorphins (happy hormones) in your brain and creates wellbeing far beyond just being physically healthier. I have singled out Pilates because it is like this quiet achiever that not only gives you a work out without you noticing, but has the bonus of fixing anything from a crooked walk, to a lower back issue, to bad posture etc etc. The thing is a cure-all - it may not have the buddha on a mountain-top-ness of Yoga, but I assure you it is all that.... now I have to just start doing it again! 

Flossing

Can you believe that flossing, that little habit that very few people bother with can completely change your life. Not that you would notice straight away, lack of flossing is a slow burn to unhappiness, rather than a rocket to your head as such. The bacteria that lingers in your mouth from literally rotting food travels through your body and has been shown to contribute to heart disease and stroke! And you thought bad breath was the biggest issue here, when in fact being alive rather than having a raving social life is the issue. Ok so have freaked myself into flossing, be back in a mo. 

Meditation

I met someone that went away for a week somewhere and didn't speak the whole time. He said that the result was he had a clearer brain, a week of just meditating if you like meant he could clear all the white noise that had been humming in his brain. I personally think about half my problems would be solved if I had clarity of mind, the sheer volume of thoughts that I connect up every minute is exhausting just thinking about it, and it is easy to see why my own brain simply overwhelms me sometimes. Add a bit of quiet non-interactive time to your life, they say 10mins will do it and it is meant to change your life. 

Oats

I used to ride horses a lot and when I was helping mix their feed, I suddenly got a real insight into the whole "we are what we eat" cliché. If you had a flighty horse that had thrown a few school girls in the morning classes ( you can't really blame him can you though) you had to down his Oats and mollases. Oats is basically like rocket fuel for horses, it really does get them going, and I figured it was a real shame that most of us were brought up on processed stuff like Corn Flakes, which basically has the nutritional value equivalent to a similarly sized piece of cardboard. 

Oats conversely are classed as a superfood, because they are: 

• the only grain proven to reduce blood cholesterol lowering the risk of heart disease
• low G.I. and therefore give you long-lasting energy
• high in insoluble fibre in other words laxative ads are irrelevant to oats eaters (have you ever met a constipated horse? colic is not the same thing btw)
• high in soluble fibre which is great for Heart health
• they fill you up so you don't fill like eating a mini-Cherry ripe with a coffee at 10am
• packed with essential vitamins and minerals such as Calcium, Magnesium, Iron, Phosphorus, Manganese, Vitamin B5 and Folic acid

Is it any wonder I am writing this series as I am currently doing one out of five of these and I wonder why I am stressed out! 

What one are you doing? or are you a super happy person doing all five!?

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Woofs, neighs and oinks

Animals make me very happy.

I don't really know why I am so drawn to them, maybe it's their innate authenticity, despite them not speaking english you are left with no uncertainty of their meaning. I suppose they are like children but for most of their lives; honest and loving. 

My poor Mum was dragged every Saturday to Duffy's Forest for horse riding lessons from when I was 7. And our driving holidays always took a lot longer than Dad would have liked as we had to stop at any horse that had it's head any where near where I could reach over and give it grass and have a natter. 

I thought I would be assured of having a dog in my adult life as I did in my childhood, but my farm boy hubby doesn't feel the same way and then little people popped along. So when I can get more than 5 hours sleep in a row and the boys are able to dress themselves a puppy is on its way to us whether my beloved hubby likes it or not! 

In the mean time I ask generous dog owners whether the boys and I can have a pat or get my fix, luckily a lot closer to home. 

Today we went to Calmsley Hill City Farm only 40 mins drive from the inner west. It was like the easter show but cheaper and less soul-destroying. And last week we went to The Grounds at Alexandria and met Kevin Bacon, a gorgeous and very friendly miniature pig and some chickens. You can also get a horse ride at Centennial Stables - five minutes from the centre of the city, and where I used to ride the two horses you see below. Learning to jump in Centennial Park was amazing. 

From top left clockwise: Calmsley Hill Farm, Norman at Centennial's indoor arena, Goats at the Easter Show, Max going for his morning walk at Centennial, Kevin Bacon at The Grounds and two Labradors I befriended on a holiday!

Where do you get your animal-fix?

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Love not war...

I am so grateful today for what others have done. I hope their sacrifice is remembered and felt for years and years to come so that we can continue to live in peace and never let War take and ruin the lives of fathers, sons, mothers and daughters again. 

Have a great Anzac Day, rest and remember xx

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Children make me happy...

Today's post comes from someone that needs little introduction as she is awesome, both for her work as a child behaviour consultant and for the what she shares on social media and her blog Easypeasykids. I was lucky enough to connect with Nathalie in person when I was down in Melbourne for a blogging conference and we had a gorgeous day making each other laugh in between the occasional tweet and instagramming of toes. Her post today is exactly like her: wholehearted, LOL funny and inspirational all at once. Enjoy. 

What makes me happy?

Children make me happy, and I have the great fortune to work with them everyday. The

world through their eyes brings happiness to the simplest of moments. They make me

laugh out loud, help me see the bigger picture and they show me that a happy moment

can be anything that makes them feel good inside.

These are the moments that they have shared with me that make them happy. It really is

the simple things.

Mr 5 “When I wipe my own bottom and don’t get poo on my back”

Miss 4 “When mummy blows raspberries on my tummy”

Mr 7 “Having pop off competitions with my brother”

Miss 8 “When I read a hard word on my own”

Mr 9 “Playing footy with my mates especially went it’s muddy”

Miss 6 “Snuggling on the couch with dad watching TV”

Mr 8 “Every time my mum says I love you”

Miss 5 “When my mummy reads to me”

Mr 6 “Digging for worms”

Miss 6 “When mum says I can jump in a puddle”

Mr 10 “When dad plays minecraft with me, he’s not very good but I don’t care he’s with

me and we laugh at how bad he is”

Miss 3 “Kisses on my nose”

Mr 4 “When mummy chases me like a big monster”

Miss 9 “Being with my dad, he makes up not very good jokes but that makes them even

funnier”

Mr 11 “Mum’s hugs although I’m older now, her hug makes me feel on top of the world’

Miss 7 “Singing in the car with mum, we pretend we are Divas. I’m not sure what a Diva

is but it must be something great because mum loves doing it and it is so much fun”

So keep looking for those happy simple moments, they are there. Make your kids laugh;

a child’s laughter is the tonic we sometimes need to get through the next hurdle. Ask

your child what makes them happy; you may be surprised at the simplicity of their

answer.

Nathalie Brown x

www.easypeasykids.com.au

www.facebook.com/easypeasykids

@easypeasykids

pinterest.com/easypeasykids/

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